Broken
by Taijiya-san
Summary: An accident leaves Hawkgirl's life changed forever. She strives to cope with her loss, while GL strives for forgiveness from both Hawkgirl, and himself. Takes place before Wild Cards, AU, eventual HawkgirlxGL pairing.
1. Prologue

**Broken  
**

  


~*~*~*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Justice League. Wah wah wah wah pout.  
  
Random Note: This story takes place before Wild Cards. It will not fit in with the continuity of the series past a certain point. That's all. ^^  
~*~*~*  


  
*click*  
  
*click*  
  
*click*  
  
The footsteps of John Stewart continued to fall in a rhythmic pattern as he paced up and down the narrow corridor. There wasn't much more he could do. It was his own fault, really. Maybe he would've still been in there, if he hadn't been so damn emotional. J'onn had ended up saying it would be better if he waited out here, for all of their sakes.  
  
So, that was when the pacing had started. Anything to keep his mind numb, anything to keep from thinking about it.  
  
Unfortunately for John, his constant movement wasn't so soothing for anyone else. Flash narrowed his eyes, slumped in a cushy chair on the side of the hall. "Would you just give it a rest?"  
  
John paused long enough to shoot Flash an icy glare. "Shut up."  
  
"Don't tell me to shut up!" The fastest man alive was up in a second, cutting John off before he could take another step. "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be sitting here like this in the first place!"  
  
"I said SHUT UP!" His eyes turned their unnatural shade of emerald green as his hands became fists.   
  
Flash wasn't the least bit intimidated. "Why should I? Or are you gunna put me in there too?!"   
  
He gave an involuntary gasp as John grasped the neck of his costume, pulling him foward until he had a good, close look at the man's enraged face. He nearly made a crack about breathmints, but decided this probably wasn't the best time for that. "One more word, Flash. Just say one more word." His voice was low, dangerous.   
  
If Flash was in his right mind, maybe he would've backed down. But not now. "Go on. Getting a little more blood on that ring won't matter, will it?"  
  
John tightened his grip on the red fabric in his hand. "You know damn well I never meant to - !"  
  
"Tell her that!"   
  
For a long moment, there was nothing. Neither said a word, and neither one moved. Finally, something happened; the door to the medical bay opened, and there stood J'onn, his expression neutral.   
  
Promptly releasing Flash, John walked towards the martian. Finally, he could ask the question that had been plaguing his mind for hours. "How is she? Is she going to be alright?"  
  
Hesitantly, J'onn spoke. "She is going to survive. Her injuries are not fatal, though it will take time for her to recover." The sense of relief that flooded the room made him feel that much more guilty for what he was going to say next. "However...the wounds will have a lasting effect. Her back took the worst of the blast." He took a deep breath, bracing his mind for their reaction.  
  
"Her wings were damaged beyond repair. Hawkgirl will never fly again."  



	2. Chapter 1: Impact

**Broken**  
Chapter One: Impact  
Disclaimer: Yes, I still don't own Justice League. Though it's not like I've got enough money worth suing for anyway. ^^; And as a note, things said in between apostrophes 'like this' are thoughts. Kay? Kay!  
  
~*~*~*  
  
The words rang through John's mind, repeating in an endless cycle. 'Never again...never?' He stood as still as a statue. All because of him. All because he -  
  
"You're..not serious, are you?" Flash's voice was unsteady, a weak smile on his face. "You're just pulling our chains, right? I mean, I know it was bad, but...but..." His voice trailed off into nothing at J'onn's piercing gaze. He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked downwards. It was stupid to hope it had been a joke. J'onn wouldn't joke about something like this.  
  
J'onn just shook his head slightly. "I am sorry. I did all I could, but they were too devastated by the blast." He stepped out of the cold metal doorway. "She is still unconscious, but if you wish, you may see her now. I must go inform the others of what has happened." The offer was open to both, but intended more for John's comfort than anything. Of all the emotions that hung heavy in the air, the Green Lantern's guilt was the most potent. At Flash's mute half-nod, he walked off and out of sight.  
  
John's mind raced. Should he go? Could he go? He remembered how he'd felt the last time he's seen Hawkgirl in a hospital bed, how the sight had saddened him, how angry he'd become, how he'd wanted nothing more at that moment than to rip their future selves to shreds. This time, he was the one to blame. The only one to blame.  
  
"Come on." Flash's words snapped him from his train of thought. Traces of anger still lingered in his voice, but less so than before. "We'll both go."  
  
His own voice came out just barely audible. "Thanks..." He didn't deserve to see her. But he couldn't just abandon her. His boots suddenly felt heavier than lead as he followed Flash into the medical bay.  
  
The steady beeping of the heart monitor greeted his ears as he entered. A sound that was eerily familiar (too many of them had ended up in here for one reason or another). There, in the third bed from the right, she lay. Her mask hadn't been removed, the same unspoken rule of the League still holding true.   
  
The sight of the assorted wires and tubes that encircled her body sent a cold chill down Flash's spine. One tube to replace lost blood, another for an IV, another for air to be forced in. He'd never been a fan of hospitals. He could see the edge of her bandages poking out from the edge of the white sheet J'onn must have covered her with. But the most noticeable thing of all wasn't any of those things.  
  
There it was, plain as day -- her wings were gone. Any small shred of hope he'd held that this would all turn out to be some weird super villian induced illusion or a weird nightmare from some expired junk food he'd accidentally wolfed down was crushed. His anger swelled as John walked towards her, kneeling beside her bed, but was gone again in an instant as the Lantern clasped one of her pale hands in his own.  
  
John couldn't help but notice her hand was cold. Cold like a corpse. He gritted his teeth, holding her hand just that much more tightly. No. It was just because the room was cold, that was all. She would survive.  
  
But as what cost? He'd gotten to know Hawkgirl more and more over the last few months. She liked the sensation of striking someone down with that mace of hers. She liked loud, rambunctious music. She could always surprise him by saying something deep and meaningful out of the blue. She was caring. She had a secret love for chocolate. And more than anything, she loved to fly. Now he'd taken it away from her.  
  
A lump rose in his throat. No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't go away. "I'm sorry..." Sorry wouldn't cut it. It wouldn't be nearly enough. "I'm so sorry..." His voice cracked, and the dam broke. He buried his face into the edge of her pure white sheet, shaking.   
  
He barely noticed Flash's tentative hand resting on his shoulder. It didn't offer him any comfort, but didn't push it away either. Flash had forgiven him...but Hawkgirl never would.  



	3. Chapter 2: Shockwave

Broken

Chapter 2 - Shockwave

Disclaimer: Surprise surprise, I still don't own Justice League.

Author's Note: Yeah, it's been awhile since my last update. XD; Sorry about that. Been busy with moving troubles. But here's the next chapter for you!

No worries, I'll get this done sooner or later! I'm determined to get this finished, no matter how long it takes! Oh, yes, and thanks for all the great reviews! I'm surprised this has gone over so well. Hope you'll continue to read and enjoy!

~*~*

Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes had turned into hours. John glanced at the clock. Two hours and forty-three minutes had already gone by. Flash had gotten a stool for him to sit more comfortably. He was thankful for that -- he still refused to release Hawkgirl's hand. Flash himself had left the room not so long ago when the others had finally returned from their mission to help explain what exactly had happened.

John didn't see why he needed to. It was simple: he'd screwed up. If he'd only had better concentration, if he'd only -

"Lantern?" He glanced upwards, spotting Diana standing a few feet from the end of the bed. He hadn't even heard her come in. There was worry in her eyes as she stepped towards him. "How has she been doing?"

"A little better." Turning away, he resumed watching Hawkgirl for any movement. "But she hasn't regained consciousness yet." He still didn't know what he'd say when she did. 

Diana nodded. "I see." She turned to pull over a chair for herself, setting it beside John. The silence John was growing familiar to threatened to take over again after she'd sat down, but scurried away as she spoke again. "How have you been doing?"

"Fine." he mumbled.

It must not have been very convincing, judging by the way she was looking at him. After thinking for a moment, she tentatively began, "John...you know it's not your fault, don't you?" Ah, silence. The universal answer to the questions no one wants to hear. Too bad for John that Diana wouldn't accept it so easily. "J'onn and Flash told us what happened. You had to do it."

He turned away from her, staring absently at the steadily swaying lines of the heart monitor. It was almost as though he could feel her blue-eyes boring holes in his head. "You didn't have a choice. If you hadn't done it, Sinestro would have killed her!" Her voice had risen, whether or not she realized it. A deep breath later, her tone was soft again. "She'll understand. She'll have to"

John winced slightly. Even if Diana had been trying to help him, he could feel the underlying conviction in her voice. If he'd just taken the shot a with more caution, even taken a split-second to make sure his aim was right, Hawkgirl would have been fine right now. But it was a split-second they hadn't had. "Just drop it, alright?"

The former princess sat for a moment, her mouth hanging open as though to protest. She shut it, turning to watch Hawkgirl's unconscious figure. "...You know...despite the fact that she is a sister...I never really took the time to become close to her." She wrapped her arms around herself, sighing. "We were just so...different. Different in many, many ways." As Diana nodded to herself, John began to wonder if she was talking to him, or just thinking aloud. "That will change. When she awakens, I'll make sure of it."

Watching the slumbering Thangarian for a moment longer, she bowed her head and stood up, walking out of the room without another word. John glanced at her retreating form, wondering how Hawkgirl would react to the change in the princess. Would she be happy? Annoyed? Thankful?

Probably, whether or not she'd admit it at first. When she did wake up, Hawkgirl was going to need all the support she could get.

~*~*~

Time continued to slip away. A few other members of the league had come in to try and coax John into getting some rest, but the Lantern refused to budge. He wasn't sure when or how, but he'd ended up nodding off. Blood stained feathers plagued his dreams, fluttering wildly in the wind as laughter echoed from a source unseen. Sometimes he thought it was Hawkgirl, sometimes it sounded more like Sinestro. Most often it sounded like his own voice. A cry of pain ended the dream with a jolt that made John jump. He thought for a moment that it had only been a part of the nightmare, until he saw Hawkgirl writhing on the bed. Panic swarmed his mind as she cried out again, clutching his hand so tight that it hurt.

John whirled as he heard the door slide open. Never before had he been so thankful to see J'onn standing there. Clearly by the way he moved to a certain cabinet, the Martian knew what was happening and exactly what to do. A moment later he came to them with a small needle in hand, something which sent an involuntary chill down his spine. He was used to needles in general, but that didn't mean he had to like them. Never had, never would.

Fortunately, the needle's job was done a moment later, and Hawkgirl settled down once again. J'onn locked eyes with him. "She'll be fine. I apologize -- I would've administered the painkiller sooner, but I hadn't realized the first dose would've worn off so soon." Thanagarian bodies were proving to be quite resilient. Anyone else (aside from Superman) and the medication would have lasted hours longer than it had.

"Don't worry about it. As long as she's alright now, that's what counts." Even if she wasn't really all right. She never would be. 

J'onn nodded politely to him. "Yes, it is." He turned to dispose of the needle, before quietly heading to the door again.

"Wait." He turned to face John. "I've got a question for you." Involuntarily, the Lantern clutched at Hawkgirl's limp hand. "Are you sure there wasn't anything that could've been done to help her?"

"Are you implying that I may not have done all I could, Lantern?" The Manhunter's expression remained as calm as ever. "We've both done everything within our power. Whatever happens now relies on hers." 

John bit his lip and turned away. When he turned back, J'onn had already gone. "Everything within my power..." He glanced at the figure on the bed, completely still aside from the rising and falling of her chest. Yeah, he'd done everything within his power. That was the whole problem. If the blast had been a little weaker, if there had been just a little more accuracy in his aim, this may've never happened.

None of that would help now though. He'd already damaged her beyond repair, the same way as a blundering man who'd knocked a porcelain angel to the floor. He'd broken her.


	4. Chapter 3: Awakening

**Broken**  
Chapter 3 – Awakening  
Disclaimer: Guess what? I _still_ don't own Justice League. Betcha never saw that one coming, eh?  
Author's Note: Remember this? Yup, at long last, an update! Ta-daaaa! Remember, constructive criticism is your friend!

* * *

Flash was sprawled across his chair, his chin resting lazily on his hands. Whether he was bored or just in deep thought was anyone's guess – he tended to look bored when he was thinking, and when he was bored, he tended to think. Right now, there wasn't much else to do – Diana was trying to focus on a book, her attention swept away by the smallest of sounds. Superman was sitting in the corner of the room, his arms crossed and his eyes closed. For the first time since the accident, Flash found himself grinning a bit. When the man of steel wanted to, he could do an impressive impression of Batman. 

Speaking of Batman, where the heck was he? After Flash had told him what had happened, he'd just sort of slunk off. Big surprise. He sighed, fidgeting restlessly. "Hey, princess? What're you reading anyway?"

"Some romance novel. Very generic." Diana said, shaking her head. "Boy meets girl, boy loses girl because he's too full of himself to admit he likes the girl. The entire thing is a poorly structured excuse for a story. Dull, really."

Flash raised an eyebrow. He'd never pictured the princess to be one for those types of books. "So…if it's so boring, why're you reading it?"

"Because it's something to pass the time." Diana shot him a harsh look. "If you ever let me get back to reading it, anyway." It didn't really matter. Even without him interrupting, she'd been on the same page for nearly a half an hour. But it hadn't hurt to make an attempt at doing something productive. Something to try and take her mind off the situation. Even if it didn't work, it made her feel a bit better anyway.

As the door to the medical bay slid open, for the second time today Flash eagerly eyed J'onn as he stepped out, scooting forward until he was on the edge of his chair. "So, she's okay again?"

"Yes."

A simple answer to a simple question. "And GL?"

"He's as well as can be expected."

At that, Flash sunk back into his seat again. He didn't really know how he expected John to be; no matter how well Flash knew him, how would he know what the Lantern was thinking? He wasn't a psychic! Not like some people…

Diana snapped her book shut with an audible clap. "How long do you think it will be before she awakens?" Her voice was low. "Days? Weeks?"

"I'm not certain." Superman had opened his eyes and was now watching J'onn along with the rest of them. The Martian released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding until then. "Remember, Thanagar is a planet none of us would have ever known of if not for Hawkgirl. We may know her, but we know little about her kind. We've seen her recover faster than expected before, but she's never suffered an injury of this caliber before now." Diana's gaze fell silently to the book resting in her lap.

Without a word, Superman shut his eyes again. Flash wasn't the only one who had been thinking. He honestly wished he'd been there – the entire situation would have probably had a much different outcome if he had. Not that he was about to say that out loud. John was already upset enough, and they'd have enough to contend with when Hawkgirl came to. He'd done the best he could.

Flash wasn't exactly thrilled with the answers he was getting. Out of the entire league, Hawkgirl and GL were the ones he felt closest to. He was still angry at GL, even if he didn't really want to be. Part of him argued that what had happened was GL's fault, and that he had every right to make sure he knew it. The other argued that the Lantern needed a friend right now, not someone who was ticked off at him. Still…

He lunged out of his seat again. "I don't know about you guys, but a mocha frappe would _reaaaally_ hit the spot right about now. Anyone else?"

* * *

She opened her eyes to a wall of haze. Even after a good long series of blinks, it held strong. Vaguely, she was aware of several sounds that she was sure shouldn't have been there: the whir of machinery, an irritating beeping sound that would have grated quickly on her nerves if she had been fully aware, and…breathing that wasn't hers? Definitely not sounds she usually woke up to. 

She went to sit up, only to find that her body wasn't feeling all that cooperative. Numb, it barely felt like it belonged to her at all. Instead, she just tilted her head to a side (even that in itself took some real effort), her vision blurring again. What was wrong with her? She gave a low moan, shutting her eyes again long enough for her world to stop spinning so sparatically. When she opened them again, a dull sense of realization hit her -- the breathing hadn't been her imagination. He'd dozed off, one hand lightly grasping her own. She hadn't even noticed before then. But why was he sleeping by her bed? "John…?" she murmured, giving his hand the best squeeze she could. Which wasn't much of one. "John…?"

He snapped awake, surprised he'd even fallen asleep. The lantern felt a wave of sickness wash over him as he saw Hawkgirl staring up at him, lids half-closed. Not because of her (the sight of her could never make him ill, no matter how battered she was), but at the shock that it hadn't been a dream after all. God, what he wouldn't have given for this to have been one of Destiny's twisted illusions. He took a deep breath, tightening his own hold on her hand. "Hey…how're you feeling?"

"Mmmmmph…dun ask." Hawkgirl grumbled. "Where…where am I? How'd you…what…?"

John would regret it later. With his free hand, he lightly stroked the top of her helmet. Feathery soft and hard as rock, all at once. Just like she was. "Shh. You're in the tower's medical area."

"Again?" The thangarian, even in her drowsy state, gave an indignant snort. Figured.

Had it been any other time, he would've cracked a grin. "You took a pretty bad hit…it was my fault." He took a deep breath. Here it went. "I'm so sorry Hawkgirl, I -- " The lantern cut himself short when he noticed she'd dozed off again. He sighed. " -- accidentally crippled you with my ring. No hard feelings, right?" he finished sarcastically to himself, a bitter edge to his voice. Damnit, what was he going to SAY to her? Sorry? What good would sorry do now? He didn't know what she'd do, how she'd take it, what would --

John sat back again, the thought of releasing her hand never even passing his mind. So long as he could still hold it, he was going to. Who knew if she'd ever let him close enough again? To hold her hand, to stroke her head, to watch her sleep with such a peaceful expression.

She'd regained conciousness at least. Sleep was an improvement. A big improvement. He'd be the last person to complain about that. But everything, every moment took her one step closer to realizing what had happened. Hawkgirl wouldn't sleep forever.

God, what was he going to say...?


End file.
